Life’s too short to hold grudges.
I guess I’ve just become cold to bad things that happen in life – largely immune in fact. But I’ve also always kept it REAL. Sure I dislike it when it happens, but I get over it. Despite some horrendous treatment by others during the course of my life, I’ve always chosen to retain my compassion and understanding for people, even when it seemed virtually impossible for me to do so. I’m a determined person, so there have been defining moments in my life when I have FORCED myself with all my will, to retain these qualities and forgive because it’s who I am and who I was raised to be. Without these, you’re not really human.
I know for many people it can be hard to forgive others for their wrongdoings, when they have inflicted pain or suffering upon you. Sometimes there are people who intend to harm you and I won’t make excuses for them – these people really don’t care, and are fully aware of the harm they try to cause, to ultimately achieve their own selfish objectives. These people might be toxic (or supremely selfish – maybe both), and their behaviour rarely changes, so you might want some distance.
Yet in many instances, it also occurs (sometimes simultaneously) out of ignorance or unawareness by others, who are otherwise good people, but who are quick to judge based on hearsay rather than fact. Some of these people might also get caught up in the short term thrill of the event, or the power they feel, only to inevitably realise and feel bad about their own wrongdoings later. I’ve been on the receiving end of both situations, simultaneously several times in my life, so I guess that makes me experienced in this!
Life’s pretty simple at the end of the day. If people internally recognise their mistakes, it provides a genuine opportunity to recover and heal for all involved, and ultimately, life goes on and time and perspective improves things for everyone. You don’t need verbal apologies because if people realise their mistakes, you’ll notice. If they don’t, then they’ll keep doing what they’re doing and the cycle continues, collective healing doesn’t occur and it’s only a matter of time before someone else gets hurt.
For the person on the receiving end of it all, no matter how poorly you’ve been treated, I encourage you to dig deep for the strength and courage to BREAK the cycle rather than becoming a damaged person who goes around damaging people. Don’t seek revenge or take it out on the next person who comes along. Your future life can be so much better than that.💛